The Truth About Ellen: A feel-good romantic comedy

  The Truth

  About Ellen

  Sarah Louise Smith

  Copyright © 2013 Sarah Louise Smith.

  All rights reserved.

  Second edition, published 2019.

  No part of this book may be used or reproduced in any manner whatsoever without written

  permission of the author except for brief quotations used for promotion or in reviews.

  This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, and incidents are used

  fictitiously. Any resemblance to actual persons living or dead, business establishments, events, or locales, is entirely coincidental.

  Editor: Jeff Gardiner

  For my brother Dan,

  I hope this makes up for the attempted strangulation.

  Chapter One

  I've always been the clumsiest person in any given room. When I was 16, I was at a Four Apes concert (my favourite band) and I actually fell down the stairs on the way out of the arena and fractured my wrist. Another time, when I was 24, I was out shopping with my mum and I tripped, sprained an ankle and broke two ribs.

  I'm always tripping, falling, slipping, dropping, breaking and losing things. The fact that I'd made it to 28 with a mostly intact body, still functioning and breathing and going about a fairly normal existence, was a miracle of epic proportions.

  So, it was no surprise to me that as I peeled the foil off my mini Easter egg and took a small bite that the whole thing crumbled in my hands, leaving my chin, work desk and lap covered in rapidly melting shards of chocolate.

  “Yummy aren't they?” said my co-worker, Darby, taking a dainty bite of hers without creating any mess whatsoever.

  Darby was pretty much the opposite of me. I couldn't imagine that she'd ever tripped up the stairs, lost her mother's favourite necklace, forgotten her best friend’s birthday, or even had a single hair out of place her entire life. She always came into the office looking like she’d just stepped out of a glossy magazine. Her face was made up with just the right amount of make-up to give her that naturally stunning look, and her clothes always fit beautifully as if designed and made to measure (which they probably were). And her sing-song voice never uttered a word that wasn't worth the whole office hearing. I hated her. I wasn't jealous… honest. I just didn't need someone that perfect in my life, thank you very much.

  Oscar, our boss, had left a small egg on each of our desks as a token thanks for our 'hard work'. As I'd only been with the company for five months, and my last boss had barely muttered ‘good morning’ to me when she arrived each day, I thought this was pretty generous.

  My co-workers had, however, complained that he'd given them much larger eggs the year before.

  I sat in a pod of four desks with Darby, plus another two girls – Margot and Tammy. Margot was nearing retirement and kept quiet most of the day, until anyone started talking about television and then she piped up and gave her opinion on what had been on the night before. Darby and Tammy were close friends who talked all day about their love-lives, gossiped about their mutual chums and other colleagues, or debated fashion and celebrities. In fact they chatted all day about anything they could think of. I mostly kept myself to myself and tried to work hard; I was still on probation and I needed this job. I had rent and bills to pay, a car to run, and a cat to feed. Plus there was always shed-loads of work to be getting on with.

  Today was no exception; I had a report to prepare for Oscar, and as it was the last day before the Easter break we were all leaving after lunch. I blocked out the others’ chitter-chatter, trying to concentrate on what I was working on, but then something Darby said caught my attention and I couldn't ignore it.

  “I hear the Four Apes are rumoured to be getting back together.”

  Four Apes. My favourite band. Ever. I was 13 when they burst onto the music scene with a cool blend of indie-rock. I was at just the right age to develop a huge celebrity crush and Four Apes were the perfect band for me to become fanatical about.

  I went to their concerts, I donned their t-shirts, and I wore out lots of VHS cassette tapes by recording all their television appearances. Every square inch of my bedroom walls and ceiling was covered in posters and magazine cut-outs. I doodled their logo every time a pen and slip of paper presented itself.

  Laura, my best friend back then, was also a huge fan. Her favourite was George, who was the eldest and the drummer. Then there was Alex who played the keyboard; Tom the bass guitarist, who wrote most of the songs. But while I loved them all, I was totally in love with Jasper, the bad boy and lead singer. I would scowl each time I saw paparazzi shots of him coming out of a bar with his arm around a stunning skinny girl, who no doubt didn’t realise just how wonderful he was. That should’ve been me.

  Then one day, when I was about 18, the band split up and went their separate ways. Jasper launched a huge solo career, which I’d also followed closely, buying every album and seeing him live every time he went on tour. I even met him once. My heart fluttered at the memory, but I quickly pushed the memory away again.

  The rest of the Four Apes hadn’t really been heard of much since; they’d just faded into obscurity.

  Until now.

  “Did you just say the Four Apes are getting back together?” I asked Darby, hoping I’d be able to hide my over-excitement.

  “Well, that's what I read. I don’t know if it's true.”

  I turned back to my computer screen and wondered if the world would be graced with another amazing musical masterpiece of an album. I hadn’t been in touch with Laura for years; we were friends on Facebook but we’d drifted apart. She had a husband and two kids now, and I was still a kid myself, so our lives were very different. I wondered if she’d heard this gossip and thought of me, too. How crazy we were for those four boys back then, although of course they were men now.

  “Ellen, can I see you for a moment?” Oscar called from his office. I took another bite of chocolate – more carefully this time – and made my way to his little room. It was bright and clean, not a pencil out of place. I glanced at the framed photo of his wife and children, and smiled. They always looked like such a cute little family.

  “So, you’ve been here five months now, yes?”

  Oh. I’d thought this was about some work I’d been doing for him. Didn’t he like me? Was my probation over already? What would I do if he let me go? Would my parents be able to help me pay the bills?

  “Yes,” I said, working out how much of a parental loan I’d need to request. Maybe I could get a temp job. If I went to an agency right now, how soon could they get me some contract work?

  “And do you like it?”

  “Yes,” I said, feeling my hands turn sweaty. Why does that always happen to me? Wet hands are not what I need in times of crisis. Stupid body.

  “Good, because I’ve been really impressed with you so far.”

  What? Oh. I relaxed into my seat a little more and tried to subtly rub my sticky hands on my skirt.

  “Thank you.”

  “So we’d like to offer you a permanent contract now. And assuming you want to accept, there’s an induction training course every permanent employee has to go on, so we’ll get you booked on that.”

  I’d heard about these training courses from the others; they usually put you in some hellish hotel and you spent five days watching lifeless colleagues tell you about the business you’d already been working in for several months, staring at presentation slides and wishing you’d turned the offer down.

  But it was a week away from home; maybe it’d be good for me. Anyway, I needed the job. A permanent contract – yay!

 
; “That’s great. Thank you so much Oscar.”

  “No, thank you. You’ve fitted in well and worked hard. I’m really impressed.”

  I smiled and felt myself blush. “Thank you.”

  “Right, okay, I’ll sort the paperwork.”

  I wondered how I’d managed to work hard and do well at a career I’d never planned, wanted, or dreamt about. I was proud of myself. Bergman and Strauss was a large company with a great reputation and I’d worked hard to get the job I was in. Yet I was kind of disappointed that this had become my life. Surely no one ever dreamt of working in an office all day long as a kid? But then again, my dream of becoming a tooth fairy had been just a tad unrealistic. And I had no idea what I’d do instead.

  I went back to my desk and told the others my news.

  “Oh, my induction was in a dingy hotel in Birmingham,” Darby told me, repeating what she’d said on my first day. “It was totes boring.”

  “I went to the Dublin office for mine,” Margot told us. She mustn’t have been around on my first day because I’d have remembered that. Dublin wouldn’t be so bad.

  “Mine was in the German office in Frankfurt,” Tammy told me for the second time. “They rotate it every time.”

  “Well, let’s hope there’s an office right next to a sandy beach in Greece,” I said, sitting down at my desk and thinking that it was probably this office and I’d not get to go anywhere, not even Birmingham.

  “There’s no Greek office,” Darby told me solemnly. I knew that already but didn’t bother to point it out. “There’s one in Spain though, so you might get lucky. Or California!”

  “Henry in sales got to go to the LA office last time,” Tammy chipped in. “But he said there wasn’t much time for sightseeing with all the boring stuff they make you do.”

  Wow, now I really couldn’t wait to go. It sounded worse than being at my desk.

  Chapter Two

  On my way home that evening I stopped at my grandma’s for a cup of tea and a chat. She opened the door, gave me a quick hug and retreated to the kitchen to put the kettle on.

  “They offered me a permanent contract at work today,” I told her as I sat down at her kitchen table.

  “That’s brilliant. Well done.”

  “Thank you. It’s a relief. I can feel a bit more secure now.”

  “Well, you were too good for that last job you had.”

  “I didn’t mind the job. But you know I had to leave after I split up with Jon. I couldn’t have seen him every day.”

  “Well, you were too good for Jon as well.”

  She’d told me this several times since Jon had dumped me; and I knew it wasn’t true. She loved Jon almost as much as I had. He was always charming to her, and she’d been hoping we’d get married someday; she’d even asked me a few times if I thought he’d put a ring on my finger before she ‘popped her clogs’. But, in the way that only those who truly love you can, she’d turned on him the day I’d arrived and told her in a flood of tears that he’d asked me to leave his life and never return.

  “Thanks Gran. So I get to go away for a week, on an induction training course.”

  “Why a week? Is there that much to learn when you’ve already worked there for a while?”

  “I have no idea. Apparently it’s really boring.”

  “Where do you have to go?”

  “I’m not sure yet. Hopefully somewhere exotic.”

  “Well, anywhere is a nice change isn’t it?” She turned away from the tea things to face me. “Now, do you want a biscuit?”

  I gave her my sweetest smile. “Of course.”

  She smiled back and turned to her biscuit tin.

  “So how are you anyway?” I asked her as she put my tea in front of me. She always put a sugar in it, even though I’d told her several times I was sweet enough.

  “I’m fine dear, but I have something I need your help with.”

  She sat down opposite me and took a sip of her tea. I opened the biscuit tin and took two. Or maybe three.

  “Now, I’m going to tell you something I don’t want you to share with anyone.”

  This was new. I stopped mid-dunk to look up at her, and she looked worried. Was it me, or was she looking remarkably well? I mean, for her age she looked young and she was quite sprightly and active. Surely she wasn’t ill? And she didn’t want me to share it with anyone? How could I keep an illness from my dad? Didn’t he deserve to know? I didn’t want this responsibility. I prepared myself for the worst.

  “I see, okay. Is everything all right?”

  “Everything’s fine. I just need your help.”

  Phew. I continued with my biscuit-dunking and relaxed back into my chair.

  “Fire away.”

  “Well, before I met your granddad, God rest him, I was friendly with a man…”

  “A man? Was he a boyfriend?”

  “Well, yes. Gordon was his name.” Her face lit up and I saw a sparkle in her blue eyes that I hadn’t seen since before my granddad passed away a few years back.

  Huh. My grandparents had always seemed so happy together, so in love, it’d never occurred to me that there had been others before they met each other.

  “Go on,” I told her, intrigued to hear her story.

  “Well, we lived next door to each other in Cardiff and grew up together, really.”

  Her face took on a wistful, far-away look as she told me about him.

  “We used to play together as children, and we grew up, and continued to be close. Then one day when we were about 17, he kissed me. So we courted for a bit… and we fell in love.”

  “Wow. What was he like?”

  “He was tall, with fair hair and green eyes. Very handsome face. And he was ever so friendly, he could chat to anyone. Lots of charisma. Everyone who knew him, liked him. And I was quite proud to be the girl on his arm. I remember thinking of all the girls in all of Cardiff, he’d chosen me. I thought I was so lucky.”

  “Aw, that’s sweet.”

  “We loved each other, we were so close, and he was my first, you know…”

  “Grandma! You weren’t a virgin when you married Granddad?”

  She waved her hand dismissively. “Of course not, I’ve always been a modern woman.”

  I giggled. “So what happened to Gordon?”

  “He joined the army. I didn’t want him to. Begged him to stay, I did, but he insisted it’d be fine and he’d be with me when he got back. He said he’d marry me and I could come away with him then. He said we’d travel the world.”

  “And?”

  “Well, I missed him terribly, and we wrote to each other for a long time. Then I met your granddad.”

  “So you ditched Gordon for Granddad?”

  “Pretty much. I felt so torn, and I loved Gordon but I wanted a husband who would be at home with me. I didn’t want to leave Cardiff. I’d never even been out of Wales, back then.”

  “So you never spoke to Gordon again?”

  “No. He was heartbroken and refused to speak to me after that. Granddad and I moved to the other side of Cardiff. I used to look out for him when I went back to visit my parents, but I’ve not seen him now for over fifty years.”

  “Wow.”

  “But I loved him, and truth be told I loved him more than your granddad. He just wasn’t around when I wanted to settle and have children. Do you understand?”

  She looked worried and her eyes filled with tears.

  “Oh Grandma, that’s sad. Of course I understand.” I put my hand on hers and squeezed it. She gave me a faint smile.

  “It’s silly getting upset really. It was a long time ago and I should have just forgotten all about him.”

  “No it’s not. He sounds unforgettable.”

  She nodded and pulled a tissue out from her sleeve and dabbed her eyes.

  “Well, anyway, I was very happy with your granddad. He was a kind, loving man and I don’t regret any of it. I’ve got your dad and your aunt Irene and all my grandchildren.
But sometimes I wonder what might have been. And I wonder what happened to him, so I thought you might be able to find out. You know, with the Google or Face-page or something.”

  “Oh wow. Okay, I can try and search for him but I don’t think it’ll be easy, Gran. Why don’t you write down as much information as you can, and I’ll see what I can do?”

  “Thank you Ellen. I’ll write down everything I can think of for the next time I see you. Is that okay?”

  “Sure, no problem.”

  We talked for a while about the latest from my aunt Irene who’d called that morning with news from her side of the family, and then I hugged Gran goodbye and headed home. As I drove, I thought about Gordon and only hoped the old guy wasn’t dead. She seemed so hopeful, I wouldn’t want to be the one to tell her if he was long gone, or worse still, on his death bed.

  I let myself into my little house and glanced around at the mess. I’d left magazines and coffee cups everywhere over the last few days; too lazy to tidy up after myself. Jon had been the obsessive cleaner and since living alone, I’d realised I was a bit of a slob. Every Friday night I told myself I’d spend the weekend making the house look sparkly and wonderful, but every Sunday night I shrugged my shoulders and flopped down in front of the TV. I was currently working my way through Breaking Bad and the temptation to get some Pinkman eye-candy was always much more tempting than getting out the duster.

  But today I felt like finally making a start on all those dishes I’d let pile up. After all, I needed a clean plate for my dinner. I tidied up the mess and cleaned every room before flopping on the sofa with a tray, a microwave dinner and a glass of red wine.

  I put the television on and tucked in. I was pleased to note that I felt more relaxed than I had for several months, safe in the knowledge that my job was now more secure. I’d had to leave my last permanent job pretty sharpish after being dumped by Jon, the ex-love-of-my-life and ex-senior-colleague. He’d actually suggested I leave the company right after telling me he thought I should move out of our – now his – house. I wasn’t bitter about it, but it did seem kind of heartless and cruel to break my heart then tell me I was going to be homeless and jobless on the same day. Bastard.